The War I Won

Today, MMT has a special celebration she wanted to share with you all. Happy Nurse-iversary to the McIntyre clan, here's to a few more!

I have to give a shoutout to my #mcm today. Mine is my biggest crush in the world (other than the collective men of Pearl Jam, even though we all know that's true, undying love and not merely a crush) is my son, Hamish. And today is our Nurse-iversary

Today marks one full year of feeding my child with any help. Without a g-tube. Without bottle complements. Without a nipple shield. Without professional assistance.

You'll remember that today isn't Hamish's birthday. No, in fact, today is 52 days after his birthday. 52 whole days of wondering if breastfeeding was going to happen for us. Nearly two months of wondering if I was capable. Over seven weeks of wanting, wishing, waiting. 

So when people ask me (in that way they do) how long I plan to nurse my son, I need to start throwing out those numbers. I need to tell them exactly how hard and how long I worked to be able to nurse this sweet child. I need to tell them that my specific breastfeeding journey was more like a war; it was a war against my own self-doubt and self-sacrifice and limitations, and by God, I won! I need to tell them,

It took 52 days45 days of pumping4 nipple shields3 CLCs2 IBCLCs1 surgery, and the belief that if I just.kept.going, MAYBE we would somehow get here. MAYBE we could get it. MAYBE.

But I don't. And probably, I won't. I know our truth; I know our strength. That's enough. It really is. So I'll do and say exactly what I always do, which is smile, and look at Hamish, and tell them honestly, "It will be my honor as long as he'll have me." 

 Gym-nurse-tics with Hamish

Gym-nurse-tics with Hamish